


Eating The Peach

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Creaming vs Squirting, Cunnilingus, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Incest, Multiple Orgasms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:29:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: "Eating the peach. Kissing the clam. Dine at the Y. Munch the fur burger. Have a box lunch. Lick carpet. Visit the taco stand. Pay lip service. Part the velvet curtains.""Those can't be real," Vanya said. "You're making them up to annoy me.""I'd never do anything in my life to annoy you," Diego said earnestly. "I've lived my whole life to make your life easier."





	Eating The Peach

**Author's Note:**

> Another kink meme prompt that DW was feeling uncooperative about, so I guess y'all now know that it's me!

"You don't, uh... I mean, not that I don't -"

"Vanya," Diego said, and he sounded like he was on the edge of his patience, "you sucked me off like, fifteen minutes ago. I've told you before that I love eating the peach -"

"Do you have to call it that?" Vanya interrupted, wrinkling her nose. 

"Eating the peach. Kissing the clam. Dine at the Y. Munch the fur burger." His fingers went to the button of her pants. "Have a box lunch. Lick carpet. Visit the taco stand. Pay lip service. Part the velvet curtains."

Vanya was laughing as she lifted her hips up, covering her face with both hands. "Those can't be real," she said. "You're making them up to annoy me."

"I'd never do anything in my life to annoy you," Diego said earnestly, tossing her jeans off the side of the bed. "I've lived my whole life to make your life easier."

Vanya prodded him in the ribs with her foot, giving him a Look. 

"Babe," Diego said, and he cupped her cheek, resting his thumb on her lower lip, "I work at a _boxing gym_. Do you know how much shit I hear?"

"I've met the guys at the gym," Vanya said dismissively. "They're all nice guys."

"They sure are," Diego said, sliding his thumbs under the waistband of her panties and pulling them down her thighs. "They believe in sharing the joy. And the oral sex."

Vanya lifted her legs up, and let Diego pull her panties off, tossing them in the same direction as her jeans. "You're pulling my leg," she said, resting her hand on top of his head. 

"Swear on a stack of bibles," Diego said solemnly, his fingers ghosting across her thighs, raising goosebumps. She shivered, and her thighs tensed. If he hadn't been between her legs, she would have pressed them together. 

"Where would you get a stack of bibles in the first place?" She brushed his hair off of his forehead, and she shivered. How was she still wearing her shirt? 

"Steal 'em from hotel rooms," Diego said, and he held Vanya's thighs open wider, his eyes drawn to her pussy. 

"Not very… law abiding of you," Vanya said thickly. She wanted to cover herself up - it wasn't the first time he had eaten her out, but it _was_ the first time she had let him do it with the lights on. 

"I gotta bend the rules sometimes," Diego said. "Keeps people on their toes." He squeezed her foot, sliding a finger between her toes for emphasis. 

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a weirdo," she said, but her tone was affectionate. 

"You don't seem too bothered by it," Diego said, and he ran his thumb between her labia, gathering up the wetness, then holding it up so she could see. 

Vanya flushed. "You're lying here between my legs," she pointed out. " _And_ I just gave you a pretty spectacular blow job, if I do say so myself." Her voice rose half an octave, as his thumb found her clit and pressed down. _I should take my shirt off at some point_ , she thought dazedly. Diego was still fully dressed, albeit with his pants undone. 

"What, giving me head gets you worked up?" Diego looked faintly surprised. 

"I mean, yeah," said Vanya, and she was blushing now. "I like how… responsive you get, I like the way it feels in my… um." She went quiet, flushing. "Sorry."

Diego rolled his eyes, his expression fond. "Just… lie back," he told her, pressing gently into her stomach. "Let yourself enjoy something without immediately trying to feel guilty for it."

"I mean," Vanya said, giggling a little in spite of herself, "that tends to be more your issue than mine."

"I know how to let my hair down," Diego said, indignant. Some of his indignation was belied by his hot breath across Vanya's mound, as he sprawled out on his belly between her thighs. 

"Metaphorically, I assume," Vanya said, her hands going to the top of his head. "You'd need to grow it out a bit more, for it to have a 'down'." She carded her fingers through it, and he sighed against her - more hot air moving across her slit, raising goosebumps. 

"You want me to look like some hippie?" Diego kissed her, right at the spot where her thigh met her torso. His tongue traced the crease there, and it was ticklish enough that she squeaked, her heels digging into the mattress as her hips wriggled. 

"I think the knives would kill the hippie vibe." She shivered, licking her lips. 

"I'll enlist Klaus. He's got a boho-hippie vibe going on," Diego said, and then he pressed a kiss to her mound, right over her clit. 

Vanya squeaked again. "You s-s-sound like you've been reading Allison's fashion magazines…"

"I can't have varied interests?" He kissed lower, right below her clit, and she made an undignified noise. 

She probably had some great, witty retort - she was sure it would have been great, if she could get her brain to function. But the tip of Diego's tongue was on her clit, tracing little figure eights, and her mind went blank. One of her hands went to her eyes, covering them, and the other one on her mouth. She dug her teeth into the meat of her hand as her hips rolled forward. She was sweating through her shirt - she should have taken her shirt off, come to think of it. She should have taken her shirt off before she gave Diego that blow job; there was still a wet, soggy patch where she'd drooled down her chin. 

The sense memory of Diego's cock on her tongue combined with the actual sensation of his tongue entering her, and she went very still, her thighs tensing up. His fingertips were tracing up and down her sides, as he lapped along her slit like a cat. She shoved her fingers into her mouth, sucking on them clumsily, and she peeked out from between her fingers, over the curve of her belly… to meet Diego's eyes. 

Um. 

He grinned at her - his lips moved against her labia, and his eyes crinkled around the edges. God, he was smiling as he…

"Your pussy is _amazing_ , Vanya," Diego said, and he kissed along her inner thigh, his thumbs moving to hold her open. He was looking straight at her cunt, and he looked like he never wanted to move. 

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Vanya said, her voice muffled around her fingers. 

"Doesn't make it any less true," he pointed out, and then he was licking her, from her hole to her clit. 

She couldn't really argue with that. 

Diego's tongue was inside of her, his nose on her clit, and he was _slurping_ , as if he was eating an especially juicy peach. 

… Fucking Diego and his stupid similes creeping into her head at a time like this. 

Diego's lips wrapped around her clit, and Vanya's back bowed. She sobbed, and her cunt clenched, more wetness gushing out of her, to smear across his chin. His stubble was rubbing her perineum, her labia abraded. It should have been horrible, but… the roughness of it was a lovely contrast to the sweetness of his tongue, lapping and sucking and doing who even knew what else. 

Diego hummed into her, and her cunt clenched around nothing. Her hips twitched forward, and his nose pressed into her. "Yeah," he said, muffled. "C’mon, ride my face.”

“I don’t wanna… y’know, smother you,” Vanya said, bashful. She was still peeking out from between her fingers, but now her other hand was buried in her hair, and she was twisting it around her fingers, yanking her own head back. 

“But what a way to _go_ , am I right?” He sounded downright wistful as he said it, his expression open and sweet. 

“Oh my god,” said Vanya, and she groaned. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

He rubbed his cheek against her inner thigh, and his scruff was rough enough to make her toes curl. “I’m full of surprises, baby,” he said, and then he squirmed closer, pressing his face into her pussy, opening his mouth wider, until he had almost all of her vulva in his mouth, his tongue tracing between her labia. He focused on her clit again, and she wailed to the heavens.

She didn’t want to know what the neighbors were thinking. 

Diego began to suck on her clit a little harder, and his tongue came into play as well, and then… she was… oh, _fuck_.

Vanya’s orgasm kicked her in the gut, like a runaway horse, and she choked as she took it, let the sweet pleasure wash through her, over her, her heels digging into his sides. “Oh…,” she gasped. “Oh, Diego, keep… you feel so… you’re so…” She ground into him, as the throbbing orgasm just filled her to the brim, until she was limp and trembling on the bed. His tongue kept working, until she awkwardly nudged him with her foot. 

“That was a good starter,” Diego said lazily, and he pressed a goofy, noisy kiss to her mound, then nipped her there, just as gently.

“Starter,” Vanya squeaked out.

“Oh, definitely,” he said, and now his tone was earnest. “I know you’ve got another one in there for me.”

“For… you?” Vanya sighed, flopping back onto the bed. 

“Sorry,” said Diego, and now he looked a bit sheepish. “Was that too…”

She draped a knee over his shoulder, her toes making the fabric of his shirt wrinkle. “It’s great,” she told him. “Really great. Loving the confidence.” 

He snickered, and it tickled as he licked along her inner thigh, then back to her cunt. He was lapping at her clit now, slow and even and _good_ , her eyes rolling back in her head as it began to crest again. Her second orgasm was less of a production - it was a sweet, curling orgasm, like sinking down into a warm bath. She felt a gush of… something, and she shuddered as Diego gave her clit another little kiss. 

"You creamed," Diego said, and he sounded impressed. "I've only ever seen that in pornos."

"What's that?" Vanya watched Diego wipe his face. 

"It's… hot," said Diego, and then he shrugged, looking faintly sheepish. “Sorry.” 

“Why?” 

“What, why is it hot?” Diego drew his thumb between her labia, spreading more of her wetness around, and she shivered. 

“No, why are you sorry?” She was already so swollen, her cunt tingling from all the attention. She shivered, as he pressed it against her clit. 

He shrugged, and he managed to look pretty sheepish for a guy with the sheer amount of who even knew what on his face. “I feel like I’m being gross.”

“Well,” said Vanya, “I’m enjoying the gross.”

His whole face lit up. “Would you like _more_ gross?” His eyes darted from her pink, open face to her equally pink, open pussy. She would have been embarrassed, if she could find it in her to care. 

“I’d be up for it,” she said, and she licked her lips, relaxing back into the bed. The overhead light was right in her face, and she let her eyes drift closed, giving herself in to the feeling. 

Diego’s finger slid into her, as smooth as a secret, and his finger curled up against her G-spot. He always found it, as if he was laser guided, and that was a silly mental image, but her mind seemed to be making nothing but free associations, as Diego’s lips wrapped around her clit again. She sobbed, her thighs going tight, and she dug her heels into his back, around his shoulder blades.

“Fuck,” Vanya said thickly, as she tried to ride his fingers, his face. She was drowning in the sensations, already over sensitive, her muscles tensing up as he licked her and _licked_ her, sucking on her clit. He added a second finger, and now they were both pressing down on her, and it was like a circuit was being made. Then his tongue was pressing on her clit as well, and she was building towards… something.

He hummed around her clit, his tongue beginning to move a little faster, his fingers varying their pressure but staying inside of her. She was baring her teeth now, panting up at the ceiling, her cunt clutching around him. He was going to make her come _again_ , and fuck, but where had he learned how to do all of this in the first place?!

She gave a choked off little gasp, and then he did something especially clever with his tongue, and she was coming _again_ , but harder this time, and it felt… oh, that was a wet mess gushing out of her, leaving her totally boneless and useless, her pussy still spasming around his fingers as he thrust them into her shallowly. She whined as he kissed her thigh, and then he came up to kiss her. 

His face was wet.

“Did I… did I cream again?” She let him nuzzle her cheek, his face wet and musky.

“You squirted, babe,” he said, and he looked impressed. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Me neither,” Vanya mumbled, and she clung to his shirt, which was damp with squirt and slick and fuck knew what else. “You bring out so many of my hidden abilities.”

“Just don’t use them to destroy the moon,” Diego said, pulling her up to his chest.

She rested her sweaty forehead against his chest, listening to the comforting thud of his heart. “You’re funny,” she said, her voice flat. 

“I’m drunk on pussy,” Diego corrected, and his fingers ran through her hair.

“Ew,” Vanya mumbled. “I think that one is worse than all the other ones.”

“Even worse than “eating the peach”?” 

“... okay, second worse.” 

Diego snorted into the top of her head. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said quietly.

"I did," Vanya said, her tone fervent. "I most... definitely did." She kissed him on the mouth, and she went a little dizzy from the scent of her squirt, her cream, her slick, mixed with the taste of his breath.

**Author's Note:**

> I used as many horrible analogies for cunnilingus as I could find, and I'm not even sorry for them! 
> 
> (I'm a little sorry. But only a little.)


End file.
